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New Tips to Overcome Fear πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—


Dear Wonderful Readers,

There are many different kinds of fears that we all do face. Are you familiar with one or some of the following? How do you overcome fears?

Fear of... heights, darkness, water, a certain kind of animals
public speaking
change
unknown
uncertainty
taking risks
rejection
not good enough
looking bad
failure
losing your loved one?

You might want to add on to the list above. Good news is this! You are not alone. I have met many people who have some of those fears and they learned to overcome them.

From my personal experience, I have faced all the fears mentioned above. One of my biggest fears is losing my loved one. I had to deal with it 10 years ago when I lost my previous husband who died of lung cancer. He left me with two small children; 8 months old and 2 years old at that time. I had all sorts of fears. My children and I lived on food stamps in New Mexico. I had no job, no money, and no family to support me. (They all were in Thailand.) I did not know how I could survive in the U.S. I was living with fears for quite sometime. Fortunately, I had some great support from amazing people to help me for what I needed. I am very grateful for those wonderful people who came into my life at that time. Although I had great support, I was still living with fears. Finally, I got to the point where I did not want to live that way anymore.

We all have fears. As long as we live on this earth, we all have to face our own fears. It depends on what kind of fear that we are meant to face and how we deal with them. I would love to share with you about how to overcome fears.

Here are some tips.

1. Acknowledge the fear, feel it, and shift your attention

When fear is presented to you, there is a significant meaning in the fear itself. It is your gift to learn more about yourself that there is nothing that you can't handle. Otherwise, it would not have been given to you since the first place. When you feel the fears, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions.


*What are you afraid of?
*Why?
*What is the worse case that could happen?
*What is the hidden gift behind this event?
*What is your focus?
*What do you really want?
*What is the most important thing for you right now?
*Who are you being?
*Which choice would you want to choose; love or fear?
*What would you do for love?

By acknowledging the fear and feeling it, it helps you recognize that there is something that you really need to work on. Fears come to you because you need the experience to learn more about yourself. You will learn that you can handle anything that comes your way. You will know how to handle them better each time. When fear appears, acknowledge it, feel it, and shift your attention to love and service.

2. Focus on Love and Service

Focus is a great key to bring forth the energy and love to where you want it to be. For example, when I lost my previous husband, I shifted all of my attention on my children instead of feeling sorry for myself. The children were my inspiration. I put all my love and attention on my children. Fear disappeared when I did not think about it. It is all about focus and attention. When I focus on what is more important to do, I can put my energy and love on what I want to focus on. Instead of focusing on the husband who already passed, or feeling sorry for myself, I put my love, care, energy, and attention on my two small children who needed me. I needed to move on not just with my life, but my childrens lives. Focusing on the past brings sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, and fear. Focusing on the goal and the present brings strength, motivation, determination, peace, enthusiasm, trust, acceptance, forgiveness and love. Focusing on love and service brings a sense of life purpose and it chases fears away. When love appears, fear is vanished.

3. Trust, Believe, and Act As If

Trust

Trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. When you have more trust in yourself, there is nothing to hold you back from doing anything that you want to do. If you have a negative voice that says to you “ You are not good enough” or “You can't handle it.”, please acknowledge that voice and talk to it by questioning your own thoughts and use the questions in #1. You can also say to that voice in a loving way with a positive talk “Thank you for saying so. I do believe and trust in myself and I want to move forward. Thank you for giving me strength.”

Believe

Believe in yourself. Believe in your own highest potential despite of what people say about you or what your negative voice says to you. You can choose to believe when and what you want to. Let's say that you are fear of dating, initiating contacts, or intimacy, you can ask yourself all the questions that I share with you on # 1 Acknowledging Fear, feel it, shift your attention, and focus on Love and Service. Then, make your decision and choose to believe in your own power. Say it many times out loud to yourself “I believe in me.”

Act as if

Have you seen successful people who are very confident in themselves? What if you could act like that by acting as if you were a successful, powerful and confident being? Act as if you are 100% confident in yourself and knowing that you can succeed in anything that you do.

A few years ago, someone asked me to give a talk and share my story in public. First, I said “no” to the person. I got away with it. I did not want to do it because I had fear of looking bad, fear of not good enough, and fear of making mistakes about my English grammar, etc. (FYI: I am Thai. I am not a native speaker.) A few months later, she asked me again to give a talk. This time I asked myself “What is this all about? Why does she keep asking me?” The truth was that it was a gift for me to break through this fear. That was why it was presented to me. Finally, I saw that opportunity as a gift, accepted it, and acted as if I was fully confident in myself to give a talk. I focused on Love and Service and acted as if I was a professional speaker. I acted as if I was a native speaker. As a result, I did fine. I would not want to say that I liked it, but I did it. I walked through it, took action, and I saw the gift.

4. See a hidden gift


When fears are presented to you, look for a gift. What is in it for you? Let's say... you have fears of rejection. You are afraid to initiate contacts because you were hurt from the past and you don't want to get hurt again. Ask yourself “What is in it for me?” Or “What is my gift here?” You might find a gift that helps you to learn how to open heart and accept more love into your life despite of what happened to you in the past. You might be seeing a gift of confidence. That fear of rejection is giving you a gift to bring more confidence in yourself. A great way to see a gift is by looking at life in perspective and be positive. Look for your hidden gift and you will find it.

5.Be in the now


Often we live in the past and in the future. We are not in the now. Have you experienced hurt in the past? Has someone hurt your feelings, broken your heart and trust? Have you found yourself still living in the past thinking about such and such person who hurt you when that event happened a few years or many years ago? In your thoughts you are still hurting even though that event is over. Why don't you want to let go of the past? Why are you keeping it in your thoughts? How does living in the past serve you? It does not. Have you ever been worried or feared of what is going to happen in the future? Why do you worry about the future that has not arrived yet?

We all are given a new day everyday. There is only this moment. It is the now. Be here now. A great way to be in the now is doing meditation, controlling your breathing, and focus on your positive self talk. Put your attention on where you are right now. If you are feeling the fear of something, be here now. Feel the fear, ask yourself the above questions from #1. Next, fill your heart with love.

6. Fill Your Heart With Love


A wonderful way to fill your heart with love is by thinking of when you experience great love. Think of someone you love so greatly that you are willing to risk anything for the other person whether that person is your lover, spouse, children, parents, friends, your pets or your job. Think of something that makes you feel so joyful, happy, and in love. Listen to your favorite music or sing your favorite song. Another way to fill your heart with love is by choosing it to be. Just be love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back. You will be willing to take risks and do anything just for love.

7. Face Your Fear


Now your heart is filled with great love, fear is starting to quiet down. If you still feel the fear, the only way to overcome your fear is to face it and walk through it. Just do it. Once you take actions, you will experience your own power and learn that you have an ability to handle anything that comes your way. You will face fears with confidence, believe and trust in yourself that you could handle it. Above of all, you will learn about the Power of Love which is the highest power in this whole universe! And you are that LOVE.

Fear is a great opportunity for growth in each area of your life; lifestyle, self-esteem, personal organization, health and fitness, relationships, money and finances, job and career, personal growth, quality of life, and spirituality. Fear will keep appearing in your life until you leave this earth. Life requires growth. When you pass one test, there will be another test to challenge you. There is always a next step to unfold. If you look at fear as your great vitamin for life, you will learn to appreciate fear. It gives you strength. When fear appears, embrace it with love and humility. You will never fail when you do anything with love. When your heart is filled with love, there is nothing to hold you back from moving forward to where you want to go. The more you experience fear, the more you learn about how to love, trust, and believe in yourself. Believe in your own ability. Believe in your own given power. Believe that you can succeed in anything that you want to do. You are unlimited and you are capable of handling anything that life gives you. Take your time to unfold. Go at your own pace. You can do it! Feel the love, face the fear, and find freedom!

With Love and Gratitude


 

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{5+ New} Tips on Finding Your Ideal Life Partner

 



Dear Wonderful Readers,

I hope you are getting ready for your holidays! We are getting near the end of the year. Have you thought about what you have learned this year about Life, Love, and Relationship? What have you gained? What is your next step? Where are you going next?

If you are searching for your Ideal Relationship, here are some tips for this week.

1. Fill your heart with love

You fill your heart with love by finding something or someone that you love. If you have friends whom you love, then, give your love to your friends. If you have a pet, then, give your love to your pet. If you love to dance, read, write, cook, or do some activities that you love, then, put your whole heart into everything you do. When you put your heart into everything you do, you will find joy, happiness, and love. You will become a magnet of love. You will attract more love into your life.

2. Let go of your limiting beliefs

Find your hidden beliefs that are holding you back. Here are some limiting belief:

Fear of greatness
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not being loved
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of success
I don't deserve/ I am not worthy of love

You can practice letting go of your limiting beliefs by:

1. Be aware of the limiting beliefs.
2. Ask yourself if that belief is true or not?
3. Dig deeper and find out where it is coming from. Whose voice is it that is talking to you? Perhaps it is from your parents, your ex, other people, or your own critic voice that has been sabotaging you for years.
4. Change your new belief
Write it down on a piece of paper or type into your computer in bold letters. State in a present tense.
Here are some example of new beliefs:
I am good enough.
I am worthy of love.
I can succeed in finding my Ideal Life Partner.
I deserve to be loved.
5. Post it somewhere that you can see it daily
6. State your new belief out loud 2 times a day morning and night. Make it a routine. You might need to say your new belief 50 times a day to replace the old.
7. Do this exercise for the next 30 days

It takes time to change your limiting beliefs. It takes reputation, determination, courage, and love. You can do it!

3. Be happy


You can choose to be happy. When you are happy, you attract more happiness in your life. When you are happy, you are attractive!!! It is an attitude that you want to have in order for you to live joyfully. You are the Chooser! You can be happy now by choosing to be!

4. Be the Ideal person who you want to attract


If you want to attract love, be love, loving, and lovable.

5. Give of yourself


The secret of getting love is by giving it. Give without expectation. Give with love even if it is a small thing like your smile. Smile from the heart! Everybody loves a smile. Find some ways to give each day. You will find love, peace, and happiness. The key is to detach from the outcome. You give because you want to give; not because you want something back. That is the true giving. It is giving without expectation. When you give from your heart, it all will come back to you in many beautiful magical ways!!!

6. Believe in yourself


To succeed in anything in life, you have to believe in yourself. If you want to succeed in love, you have to believe that you are worthy of love. Believe that you will meet the right person. Believe that you are good enough. Believe that you have the right to be the Chooser. Don't wait to have someone to choose you.

7. Take actions

Nothing will happen unless you take actions. What is your next step on finding love? What do you need to do? Where will you meet your life partner? What is your plan? If you want something, take actions. If you want love, take actions now. The Divine Spirit will step in and help you when you first help yourself on finding love.

Love starts within a loving heart. Love yourself first. Then, love others more.

If you want love, be love.
If you want peace, be peace.
If you want happiness, be happy.
If you want joy, be joyful.
If you want your Ideal Life Partner, be the Ideal Life Partner.
Just be...And start giving from the heart today.

Happy Sunday!

With Love and Gratitude,


 

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 " The Perfect Life Partner "

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How to Get What You Want by The Perfect Life Partner Blog

 


Dear Wonderful Readers,

What is your biggest dream?

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
~Walt Disney

I would like to share a story with you.

Once there was a little seven years old Thai girl who dreamed of living in the USA. People laughed at her when she shared her dreams because it was ridiculous to others. She was growing up with poverty. Sometime she did not even have food to eat. She grew up starving. There was no way that the dream of that little girl would come true from other people's perspective. Nothing stopped that little girl to keep on dreaming. When she was 18, she kept dreaming that one day she could be able to speak English so that she could meet with an American man. People around her looked down on her ability to graduate from college. Nothing stopped that young, determined woman. She studied English in college and graduated within three and a half year. Her dream was to be able to speak English so that one day she could meet with her dream man and be able to communicate. When she was 25, she met an American man. She fell in love with him. They got married, had two beautiful children and lived happily ever after until he passed away five years after marriage. (He died 10 years ago and left her with 2 small children...)

The girl in this story was me. My point of telling you this story was to encourage you to dream big. Don't worry about what other people think of you. Don't worry about how ridiculous your dream is. Don't worry about how you are going to achieve it. The most important key is to really know what you truly want, believe in yourself, keep dreaming, focus on what you want, and take actions. The universe will respond to what you. You have to be very clear, specific, determined, and focused.

If you want to find your Ideal Life Partner, you will find that special someone. When you look for him/ her, that person is also searching for you!

The following steps can be applied in any area of your life. It works for me and many people. I get what I want; husband, kids, home, car, job, and friendship. If this can happen to me, it can happen to you too!

Here are some tips on getting what you want.

1.Be crystal clear and specific for what you want
2.Let go of your limiting beliefs
3.Dream big
4.Set Goals
5.Take actions
6.Believe in yourself
7.Be determined and focused on your goal
8.Be detached from the outcome (Focus on your goal. Trust the Divine Spirit to bring you for what you need. If you don't get what you want, it means that it is not meant to be for you. Let it go. Set another goal. There is someone or something greater and the best is yet to come your way!)
9.Enjoy the process
10.Expect miracles!

Here are some inquiries for you:

1.What is your biggest dream right now; dream job, home, place to live, weight, partner, etc.?
2.What is stopping you from getting what you want?
3.What is your action plan?
4.Who are you being? Are you being positive or negative? Are you being optimistic or pessimistic? Are you being motivated or discouraged?
5.What attitude are you having?
6.How committed are you to pursue your dream?
7.What is your next small step to do in order for you to achieve what you want?

Have a great week!

Until next time..


 

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My Definition of Falling in Love

  



Dear Wonderful Readers,

I can write a whole book about falling in love, but I will share with you about my personal experience. Falling in love is falling into karma.(There is no good nor bad karma. Everything is the way it is. Everything that comes into my life is for my spiritual growth. The Holy spirit knows best about what I need. God always sends each man to me to help me learn about myself. The key is to help me learn to love myself, love a man, and love God.) It depends on what kind of karma I have with each man. Falling in love and being in love are completely different things. They both are beautiful experiences for me.

The “falling in love stage” does not require a relationship. Being in love requires knowing the person and being in a relationship with the other person. When I fall in love, I don't even know much about the other person. I just fall. Looking back at each relationship I have had in the past with each man, I really did allow myself to fall without questioning it and without balancing my heart with my head. Here is how I felt about my husband Craig when I crazily fell for him. (I fell for him then. I fall for him now. I am still crazily falling for him and being deeply in love with him.)

Here is my definition of falling in love: It is when I can't think, feel, or see anything else, but him. When I am awake, I smile until my jaw hurt because I feel his warm presence and hear his gentle voice. When I close my eyes, I see his kind face, sexy mustache and beard, green eyes, and patient smile. I hear his gentle voice saying how much he loves and wants me. I feel his warm body beside me. I see him kiss me, touch me, and make love with me. I can't concentrate on doing anything because my mind goes wild and think too much about sex!(It is crazy!) I can't eat. I can't sleep. People say I am in glowing. People notice how happy I am.

Falling in love is a state of bliss, happiness, attachment, desire, and lust. It is like I was born again. Life is extra exciting! Everything in my world is beautiful. I walk around smiling to myself and people think that I am crazy. I feel like dancing in the sky and skipping across the rainbow and saying “I am on top of the world. I am in love.” Falling in love creates bravery and boldness. I am willing to risk anything just to be with him. I clear away all obstacles in front of me and I don't listen to anyone or allow anything to stop me from being with him. I am unstoppable like a forest fire that burns all things closed by. Whatever he does is so attractive and charming; the way he walks, the way he talks, and even the way he combs his hair. His presence makes me want to melt on the floor like butter melted by the hot sun. I feel special. I feel like a princess! I feel secure. I am on fire of desire, lust, and filled with passions. I feel complete!

The torture part is that I fall into lust. To be honest with you, I prefer to be in love...It is calmer, more peaceful, and more loving. Our connection is in a deeper level now. We are learning, growing, and evolving together. I am falling in love with Craig still. This time I am in a deeper hole and I am staying here!

One thing that I would love to share is that it takes true love, complete acceptance, absolute trust, and real forgiveness to have a successful, loving, and long lasting relationship. True love is selfless and unconditional. We learn to give what each other needs with no expectations. Complete acceptance is accepting our greatness and all of our flaws. Forgiveness is a true giving. We always forgive each other when we make mistakes. Craig and I have been through some hard times. We have ups and downs in our relationship. What makes us stay together? The answer is what I mentioned above. Also, we have the same life and relationship visions, values, and purpose.

To sum up, falling in love is a beautiful thing. The trick is to keep falling in love with the same person everyday, fall deeper, and keep the romance going!

I would like to end up with Rumi's quote.
“Let us fall in love again and scatter gold dust all over the world.”


With Love,

 

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 The Perfect Life Partner 


 " The Perfect Life Partner "

Writer: Ranjot Singh Chahal



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[ NEW ] Ways to Say “No” Gracefully Without Feeling Guilty

 [ NEW ]  Ways to Say “No” Gracefully Without Feeling Guilty 


Dear Wonderful Readers,

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
~Helen Keller

Are you someone like me who have a hard time saying “no” to others?

Are you someone like me who love to volunteer and serve your community?

Are you someone like me who love to help everybody in needs?

When someone asks you to do something, whether they are your friends, your parents, your siblings, your relatives, your kids, your husband, or someone you know in your communities such as churches or any kind of organization, you want to help because you have a loving heart. Right? You want to serve because it makes you feel useful. You want to volunteer and give back to life. You want to give because that is the way to live a happy life. It makes you feel very good about living your life on purpose and being there for others.

We are here to serve and love others.

The truth is you can't say “Yes” to everything eventhough your heart wants to serve everybody.

The challenge comes when you need to say “no”.

The question is “How do you say “no” gracefully without feeling guilty?”

Here is how.

1.Thank you for this wonderful opportunity. I would really love to help, but I am not available at this time.
2.Thank you for thinking of me. I can't help this time, but please ask me again in the future. I would love to help when I can.
3.Thank you for asking me. I already have another plan.


Always thank people who ask you to do something. Thank that person sincerely. You are asked to do something because people see you as a loving heart person who wants to serve. Perhaps you are a very easy person to talk to. You have been saying “yes” to everything.

The important key to keep in mind is that you do not owe your explanation to anyone. You have the right to say “no”.

The world does not end when you say “No”. Someone else will take care of situations. It is an opportunity for you to rejuvenate, rest, and get energized.

Guilt is poison. You don't need to feel guilty by saying “no” to others. You can choose to feel good about yourself, stand up for yourself, and take care of yourself. The more you take care of yourself, the bigger room you have for serving others. It is all o.k.to get away from the crowd for awhile to restore, rejuvenate, and relax.

All is well.

Once you say “no” enough, then, you can go back to say “yes” more. Get some rest! Enjoy your quiet time.

The more you rest, the best serve you can contribute.

Always do everything with love. If you can't put your whole heart into it, don't do it.

It is not an amount of work that counts. It is your amount of love that matters.

Love,

 _____________________________________________

 The Perfect Life Partner 


Buy Here Free Book " The Perfect Life Partner "
Writer: Ranjot Singh Chahal


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30+ Best and Adorable ‘Good Morning’ Texts for Her (Buy Now: The Perfect Life Partner )Book by Ranjot Singh Chahal

 

30+ Best  and Adorable ‘Good Morning’ Texts for Her   (Buy Now:  The Perfect Life Partner )Book by Ranjot Singh Chahal



Romantic Texts

1. Good morning, my love. Do you remember any of your dreams?

2. I hope you’re feeling more well rested than I am this morning. I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was thinking about how much I love you.

3. Good morning, baby. I know it’s raining outside, but my head is full of sunshine thinking about you.

4. You know in the first Sex and the City movie, how Big had second thoughts about getting married to Carrie after the conversation he had with Miranda? I would never do that to you. He was a coward. Good morning.

5. I hope you have a great day today, baby. You deserve all the best the world has to offer.

6. I can’t believe you put up with me on top of everything else you have to deal with as a woman in this world. It’s insane. I’m not sure why you do it, but thank you and good morning.

7. I wish I could have your period for you just once. Or, actually — no, I wish I could take it over forever. I’m sorry, baby. Have a good day.

8. Good morning, babe. I can’t believe you exist. You are more than I could have ever hoped for, and I can’t believe I get to know you and love you.

9. Babe, you know what I was thinking about last night while I couldn’t fall asleep? The first time we met. I had no idea my life was about to change forever. You are wonderful.

10. I love you.

Sweet and Funny Texts

11. Knock-knock. (You say, “Who’s there?”) Your sweet love. (You say, “Your sweet love who?”) Your sweet love: Me! Good morning!

12. You know what I can’t stop thinking about this morning? How I wish I could have stayed up with you last night and had a Real Housewives of New York marathon.

13. Babe, I wish I was there to wake you up with breakfast in bed. I’d hold a cinnamon roll right under your nose and yell, “WAKE UP!!!!!” Just kidding. I would do it normal. Good morning :)

14. Beep boop beep boop. That’s “Good morning, I love you” in computer language. Or wait, no — it’s, “Beep boop beep beep.” My bad :) Anyway, beep boop beep beep.

15. Did you know that when a male penguin falls in love with a female penguin, he finds her the smoothest pebble he can to present to her as a gift? I read that somewhere. If I were a penguin, I’d find the smoothest pebble on earth to give to you. Good morning.

Song-Lyric Texts

16. “Good morning, baby. I thank God I’m alive to greet you with the sun.” (Wale, “The Bloom”)

17. “I’ve got nothing to say, but it’s okay. Good morning, good morning.” (The Beatles, “Good Morning Good Morning”)

18. “Good morning, good morning, love. It’s my favorite love song. I waited all night long for morning. Good morning, love.” (John Legend, “Good Morning”)

19. “Good morning, starshine. The earth says hello.” (Oliver, “Good Morning Starshine.”)

20. “You lift my heart when I fly. Good morning, good night. It’s a brave new world dawning, a lover’s fantasy.” (Janelle MonΓ‘e, “Look Into My Eyes”)

21. “Good morning. Welcome to the thing called life. Good morning. Don’t you let it pass you by.” (Will.i.am, “Good Morning”)

22. “Good morning, miss.” (Madness, “House of Fun”)

23. “Good morning. I love you. You’re singing. I see you. You’re smiling, and lying, your hair in a spiral.” (Pinegrove, “Spiral”)

24. “They call me Doctor Worm. Good morning. How are you? I’m Doctor Worm.” (They Might Be Giants, “Doctor Worm”)

25. “Good morning to you. I hope you’re feeling better, baby — thinking of me while you are far away.” (The Zombies, “Care of Cell 44”)

26. “Good morning, good morning. Sunbeams will soon smile through. Good morning, my darling, to you.” (“Good Morning,” from Singin’ in the Rain)

27. “Good, good morning. So good to see you weren’t just a dream of mine.” (Grateful Dead, “Easy to Love You”)

Quotation Texts

28. “I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.” —Dr. Seuss

29. “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

30. “Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.” —Emily Dickinson

31. “I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” —Leo Christopher

32. “It is a serious thing, just to be alive on this fresh morning, in this broken world.” —Mary Oliver

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7+ ways to know your girlfriend is cheating (by: The Perfect Life Partner Book)

 

7+ ways to know your girlfriend is cheating (by: The Perfect Life Partner Book)

The Difference Between Physical and Emotional Cheating


Physical cheating is any act that involves physical contact with someone of the opposite sex. Some couples might define this as having intercourse, but many would agree that kissing or touching someone would count as well. Emotional cheating, on the other hand, involves building a strong bond with someone else outside the relationship. Typically, this means going to that person for emotional support rather than the partner.

“When you start sharing your hopes and dreams, your fears, and happiness with someone else, you are invested in them and not investing in your primary relationship,” explains Trombetti. “When you share private details about your relationship and trash your partner, you have definitely broken the trust in your relationship. This kind of cheating is very tricky because you tell yourself it's okay because it isn't physical.”

Emotional cheating can sometimes be more difficult to detect since it tends to escalate very gradually over time. However, experts agree that it can be just as damaging as physical cheating, if not more so.


What Exactly Is Micro-Cheating?


The term micro-cheating emerged within the last decade as social media and other technology became more prevalent in everyday life. As the name suggests, it refers to small — perhaps seemingly innocent — acts that exist in a gray area of infidelity. According to Trombetti, some examples of micro-cheating include keeping a dating app profile (even if you’re not actually going on dates), sending flirty DMs or social media comments, or secretly texting with an ex.

“Micro-cheating is unfortunately very easy to do these days,” says dating expert Stef Safran. “Many people have dating apps which do not require much information or a credit card to use — and they may keep them ‘just to look.’”

Where it gets messy, of course, is that some people might believe there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with their actions and behavior if they aren’t technically physically or emotionally cheating on their partner. Ultimately, Trombetti says only you and your partner can decide together on your definition of what constitutes micro-cheating.


7 Signs She’s Cheating on You


While it’s much easier to cheat nowadays, it’s also much easier to get caught. Here are some of the behaviors you’ll want to take note of when it comes to infidelity.

1. She’s Got a New Texting Partner

At one point, you used to be the reason she was attached to her phone, excitedly DMing funny memes and texting back and forth. But if you find that your partner seems to be on their phone a lot lately, grinning at her screen while maintaining discretion, that could signal that there’s someone new in their life that is commanding their attention.

“Emotional intimacy is something that infidelity can build on,” explains Safran. “A new relationship that is not explained and done with secrecy is something that can send off warning bells.”

Sure, she could just be texting her sister or her best friend, but if she seems extra giddy about those exchanges that are taking up her time, that could be a red flag.

2. She’s Less Reachable

It’s one thing if your partner has always been a little tough to get a hold of during the workday, but if your usual lunchtime chats start going to voicemail, that’s definitely a change worth paying attention to. Safran says this is especially alarming if your partner refuses to be in contact with you at particular times of the day or night, and doesn’t seem to have an understandable reason for it.

Trombetti suggests bringing it up if you notice you can’t get a hold of them. If they can’t explain why or keep using fishy excuses about leaving their charger at home or having their phone on silent, there’s a chance that they’re trying to hide something from you.

3. She’s Putting More Effort Than Usual Into Her Appearance

If she’s suddenly started working out, wearing more makeup, and/or dressing sexier, Safran says you should take note. Of course, deciding to exercise or wear different clothes is in no way a guarantee that your partner is cheating on you. However, if they’re suddenly putting a lot more effort into their appearance, and it seems to have nothing to do with when you spend time together or go on dates, you might ask yourself if they’re trying to look good for someone else.

4. She’s Got a New Hobby That She Used to Hate

Remember when you immediately took an interest in whatever your new love interest cared about? According to Trombetti, if it seems like she’s randomly started taking a new interest in something, that might be a red flag that there’s someone new in her life.

For example, if she started watching football, listening to a new genre of music, or signed up for cooking classes when she couldn’t have cared less about those things before, you might ask yourself why that is. Sure, she may just be exploring some different passions, or there may be someone else who’s influencing her.

5. She Keeps Picking Fights With You for No Reason

Specifically, if she’s in the honeymoon phase of catching feels for or hooking up with someone new, that’s going to be tough to compete with.

“It could be because you are being compared to the person they are cheating with,” explains Trombetti. “Of course, you are coming up on the short end of the stick because she has stars in her eyes for the other person — who still seems perfect.”

6. She’s More Protective Over Her Devices

Take note of how she acts when she’s on her phone right next to you, or when you walk into the room while she’s on her laptop. If she’s quick to put her devices away, shut them down, or concealing the screen, Trombetti says that’s a big red flag that she’s hiding something from you. And unless she’s planning you a surprise party, it’s probably not a good thing.

7. She’s More Closed Off Than Ever Before

Not everyone exhibits the same level of emotional openness in a relationship, but if your partner used to share their thoughts and feelings with you on a regular basis, Trombetti says something may be up.

“When your girlfriend isn't emotionally available anymore, and you combine it with other signs, this can be a red flag for cheating,” she tells AskMen.

Ultimately, the best way to determine whether any of these signs may point to cheating is to listen to your gut.

“When you just feel something is off but you can't put your finger on it, you are probably correct,” adds Trombetti.


What to Do If You Think She’s Cheating on You


If you suspect your partner may be unfaithful, the only way to know for sure is to confront them directly. That said, it’s crucial to set the right tone for a sensitive conversation. After all, the last thing you want to do is hurl potentially hurtful accusations at them if it turns out they’re totally innocent. Trombetti advises finding a time and a place where there are no distractions when you know you can both give your full attention to the issue at hand.

“Think about how you would want to be treated or approached if the situation was reversed,” says Safran. “Find the right time to approach someone (not before a big work presentation, family event, or other major situation); when you have time to discuss your feelings and time to hopefully hear your partner's as well.”

Once you’ve set aside some time to address it, you can calmly bring up some of the behaviors you’ve noticed that are concerning you. The best way to keep the discussion civil is to ask questions rather than make statements, focusing on how their actions are making you feel. For example, you might say: “I’ve noticed you haven’t been sharing much with me lately and it’s making me feel disconnected from you. Is there a reason why?” or “It seems like you’re quick to hide your phone when I come in the room and that worries me a little, what’s up with that?”

No matter how they respond, the more level-headed you can remain, the better.

“That way, you can take in her explanation and judge whether or not she is someone you even want to continue a relationship with,” adds Trombetti. “You need to determine if she is remorseful for her actions, if she is seeking forgiveness, or if she plans to change her behavior.”

And if it’s a matter of your partner micro-cheating, Trombetti notes that they might not even realize they crossed a line. Consider this the perfect time to set some clear boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship.

No matter how many subtle signs you may notice that suggest cheating, there are always two sides to every story, so until you get to hear your partner’s take on things, consider giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Jumping to conclusions won’t just be harmful for you mentally and emotionally, but it could actually take a toll on your bond, too.

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