""""HiNdI FuNnY SmS:-
ek pagal gusse me aakar kehta hai k saari duniya ko mita dunga ,mai sari duniya ko
mita dunga.dosra pagal has kar bola he,he,he,he, mai tujhe RUBBER hi nahi dounga.
=====================
I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !
=====================
Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai....
Fuddu se yaad aaya
Kaisa hai tu..!!
=====================
Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!
Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?
Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
=====================
Ramchandra kah gaye siya se,
aisa kalyug aayega,
sirf ek dost SMS karega,
dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!
=====================
Tum sa koi dusara zameen par hua to rab se sikayat hogi….
Ek to jhella nahi jata dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
=====================
Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai,
unke aane ki aas lagti hai ,
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane,
Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai
=====================
Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha ho
=====================
Kya mast air chal raele hai
cow log grass eat kar raele hai
dog log bark bark kar raele hai
Shaane log SMS kar raele hai
DHAKKAN log SMS padh raele hai.
=====================
Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho.
=====================
Message pe message bhejte ho,
bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte ho toh bhi kya bhejte ho,
khud ka bheja to chalta nahi dosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!!
=====================
Hi Good Morning!
Arz hai,
Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai,
Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai.
=====================
Machhar ne aap ko kata,
Yeh us ka junoon tha,
Aap ne khujli ki,
Aap ka sukoon tha,
Phir bhi aap ne usko nahin mara,
Kyun kay us ki ragoon mein aap ka khun tha.
=====================
American gora bola - humhare yahan shaddi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Sardar - kamal hai, humhare yahan toh female se hoti hai! .
=====================
Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife
with him.
=====================
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney
=====================
Ram ne dhanush toda, sita chali aayi.
Krishna ne bansi bajayi, radha bhag ke aayi.
aur humne sirf seeti bajayi, saali baap ko le aayi.
=====================
Teacher: U have 2 score 90 % marks
Student: I will score 100 % marks
Teacher: Mazaaak kyon kartey ho?
Student : Suroo kisney kiya?
=====================
SAMUNDAR jitna PROJECT,
NADI jitni EFFORT,
BALTI jitna ESTIMATE,
DABBEY jitni SALARY,
CHULLU jitna INCREMENT,
To kya hoga ACHIEVEMENT
=====================
DO MENDAK:
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar tar”
dusra bola “sale topic mat change kar”
=====================
Hum dua karte hain khuda se,
Ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,
Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye
=====================
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
Yun aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
Sidhe upar chale aana!
=====================
Ladki aisi paheli hai,
Kabhi tere toh kabhi meri saheli hai,
Kharcha karo toh bole: “DARLING I LOVE U”.
Na karo toh bole: “BROTHER HOW R U ?”
=====================
Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to
kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali,
jis mod se guzro wahan ke
har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
=====================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
=====================
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
=====================
Maine tumhare yadon mein ro ro ke tub bhar diya
Magar tum itne bewafa nikle, ki naha ke chal diye.
=====================
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kya chahiye tumhain
Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khane ka cake hai
bola yahin pe khaoge ya leke jaoge
=====================
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan.
=====================
Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte.
=====================
Sir: Bachcho kasam khao kabhi saraab, cigarette nahi piyoge, non-veg nahi
khaoge
Bachche: Nahi karenge sir
Sir: Kahbi ladki nahi chhedoge
Bachche: Theek hai sir
Sir: Jua nahi kheloge
Bachche: OK sir
Sir: Desh k liye jaan bhi de doge
Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya .
=====================
Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai…ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?
=====================
Shahjahan ne TAJMAHAL ki
Har deewar ko dekha
Har meenar ko dekha
Har kaleen ko dekha
Har khidki ko dekha
aur bola……..
MAA KASAM BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA!!!
=====================
Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aesi saja mile,
Tujhe aayi ho bade jor se SUSU,
Aur kahi karne ki jagha na mile
=====================
Q: Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Ans: Jab loose motion lage hon aur pajame ki gaanth na khule.
=====================
Ladka Bola :
Kash ein hasinao ke baap mar jate,
Bahana gam ka hota, hum inke ghar to jaate.
Ladki Boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
Kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
=====================
Bihar ki gali main paan ki dukan,
Devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan paro boli shukriya bhai jaan.
=====================
Doctor ke haath me phoolon ki mala dekhkar patient ne poocha:
Doctor ye mala kiske liye he?
=====================
Doctor ne jawab diya:
Yeh mera pehla operation he agar success gaya to mere liye varna tumhare liye
=====================
""""EnGlIsH fUnNy sMs""""
Girl : Mom, i m in love with a guy.. Mom shocked : How old is the boy & what is he
doing Girl : 3 month & kicking happily in my stomach..
=====================
Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in
your heart.
=====================
susti ki intiha,
Boy:papa aik glass paani de do
Papa:khud le lo
Boy:plz de do naa
Papa:Ab manga tou thappar maronga
Boy:Thappar marnay ao tou paani lete aana:-)
=====================
Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ?
How do I know if it is pure honey ?
Seller : give the dog some honey ..
if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey
Buyer :what if the dog licks it ?
Seller: so it is not a real dog
=====================
Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D
=====================
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”
=====================
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
=====================
Thought of the day:
“if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!”
=====================
Girls problems: phone mat karo dear, mom hai near, dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear, isliye sms karo dear, without fear and very clear.
=====================
Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People****Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do
It.****Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More****But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek
Se Mera Kya Hoga
===============================================================
ek pagal gusse me aakar kehta hai k saari duniya ko mita dunga ,mai sari duniya ko
mita dunga.dosra pagal has kar bola he,he,he,he, mai tujhe RUBBER hi nahi dounga.
=====================
I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !
=====================
Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai....
Fuddu se yaad aaya
Kaisa hai tu..!!
=====================
Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!
Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?
Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
=====================
Ramchandra kah gaye siya se,
aisa kalyug aayega,
sirf ek dost SMS karega,
dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!
=====================
Tum sa koi dusara zameen par hua to rab se sikayat hogi….
Ek to jhella nahi jata dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
=====================
Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai,
unke aane ki aas lagti hai ,
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane,
Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai
=====================
Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha ho
=====================
Kya mast air chal raele hai
cow log grass eat kar raele hai
dog log bark bark kar raele hai
Shaane log SMS kar raele hai
DHAKKAN log SMS padh raele hai.
=====================
Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho.
=====================
Message pe message bhejte ho,
bhej bhej ke bheja kharab karte ho,
bhejte ho toh bhi kya bhejte ho,
khud ka bheja to chalta nahi dosron ka bheja hua bhejte ho!!
=====================
Hi Good Morning!
Arz hai,
Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai,
Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai.
=====================
Machhar ne aap ko kata,
Yeh us ka junoon tha,
Aap ne khujli ki,
Aap ka sukoon tha,
Phir bhi aap ne usko nahin mara,
Kyun kay us ki ragoon mein aap ka khun tha.
=====================
American gora bola - humhare yahan shaddi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Sardar - kamal hai, humhare yahan toh female se hoti hai! .
=====================
Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife
with him.
=====================
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney
=====================
Ram ne dhanush toda, sita chali aayi.
Krishna ne bansi bajayi, radha bhag ke aayi.
aur humne sirf seeti bajayi, saali baap ko le aayi.
=====================
Teacher: U have 2 score 90 % marks
Student: I will score 100 % marks
Teacher: Mazaaak kyon kartey ho?
Student : Suroo kisney kiya?
=====================
SAMUNDAR jitna PROJECT,
NADI jitni EFFORT,
BALTI jitna ESTIMATE,
DABBEY jitni SALARY,
CHULLU jitna INCREMENT,
To kya hoga ACHIEVEMENT
=====================
DO MENDAK:
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar”
dusra bola “tar”
pehla bola “tar tar”
dusra bola “sale topic mat change kar”
=====================
Hum dua karte hain khuda se,
Ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye,
Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye
=====================
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
Yun aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
Sidhe upar chale aana!
=====================
Ladki aisi paheli hai,
Kabhi tere toh kabhi meri saheli hai,
Kharcha karo toh bole: “DARLING I LOVE U”.
Na karo toh bole: “BROTHER HOW R U ?”
=====================
Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to
kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali,
jis mod se guzro wahan ke
har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
=====================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
=====================
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
=====================
Maine tumhare yadon mein ro ro ke tub bhar diya
Magar tum itne bewafa nikle, ki naha ke chal diye.
=====================
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kya chahiye tumhain
Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khane ka cake hai
bola yahin pe khaoge ya leke jaoge
=====================
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan.
=====================
Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte.
=====================
Sir: Bachcho kasam khao kabhi saraab, cigarette nahi piyoge, non-veg nahi
khaoge
Bachche: Nahi karenge sir
Sir: Kahbi ladki nahi chhedoge
Bachche: Theek hai sir
Sir: Jua nahi kheloge
Bachche: OK sir
Sir: Desh k liye jaan bhi de doge
Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya .
=====================
Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho,
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho,
Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho,
Kisi ne sikhaya hai…ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?
=====================
Shahjahan ne TAJMAHAL ki
Har deewar ko dekha
Har meenar ko dekha
Har kaleen ko dekha
Har khidki ko dekha
aur bola……..
MAA KASAM BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA!!!
=====================
Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aesi saja mile,
Tujhe aayi ho bade jor se SUSU,
Aur kahi karne ki jagha na mile
=====================
Q: Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Ans: Jab loose motion lage hon aur pajame ki gaanth na khule.
=====================
Ladka Bola :
Kash ein hasinao ke baap mar jate,
Bahana gam ka hota, hum inke ghar to jaate.
Ladki Boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
Kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
=====================
Bihar ki gali main paan ki dukan,
Devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan paro boli shukriya bhai jaan.
=====================
Doctor ke haath me phoolon ki mala dekhkar patient ne poocha:
Doctor ye mala kiske liye he?
=====================
Doctor ne jawab diya:
Yeh mera pehla operation he agar success gaya to mere liye varna tumhare liye
=====================
""""EnGlIsH fUnNy sMs""""
Girl : Mom, i m in love with a guy.. Mom shocked : How old is the boy & what is he
doing Girl : 3 month & kicking happily in my stomach..
=====================
Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in
your heart.
=====================
susti ki intiha,
Boy:papa aik glass paani de do
Papa:khud le lo
Boy:plz de do naa
Papa:Ab manga tou thappar maronga
Boy:Thappar marnay ao tou paani lete aana:-)
=====================
Buyer to seller : is it pure honey ?
How do I know if it is pure honey ?
Seller : give the dog some honey ..
if the dog doesn’t lick it, it is pure honey
Buyer :what if the dog licks it ?
Seller: so it is not a real dog
=====================
Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D
=====================
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”
=====================
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
=====================
Thought of the day:
“if u help a gal when she is in problem,
she will always remember u
only when she is in problem again..!!”
=====================
Girls problems: phone mat karo dear, mom hai near, dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear, isliye sms karo dear, without fear and very clear.
=====================
Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People****Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do
It.****Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More****But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek
Se Mera Kya Hoga
===============================================================
